a few photos from our honeymoon

thoughts on married life so far

we've been married for almost a month now and i thought i would jot down a few thoughts on my newlywed life so i can look back one day and remember this time of my life. being married is....in one simple word...awesome. i love it. matt says it feels like an extension of dating life but i disagree. it's nothing like dating. when we first started dating, we fell in love quick and we fell hard. even though my thoughts back then are blurred in my memory, the rush of emotions i felt are deeply imprinted, so much so that when i close my eyes and think about those days, i can't help but feel the butterflies all over again. however, as hopelessly as we were in love many years ago, now, we are hopelessly in love even more...and it's possible.

during marriage all the boundaries that were placed during dating are shattered. physical boundaries. emotional boundaries. and personal boundaries. i don't know if people go through this struggle during dating like i have but i was afraid of being too vulnerable because who knows, that person might hurt you real bad and you don't know if you can handle it anymore. but when you're married, the future is clear, and you're together...forever. that surety allows us to laugh more, be more affectionate, and even more forgiving.

just the other day i was erasing my voicemail inbox and some of the messages carried over from my old phone and there were tons from matt and most of them went like this "hey, it's me. i just got off work now and i'm going to the gym. you're probably still at work or eating with friends, but call me when you get this. bye"...i swear i had about a dozen or so of these kinds of messages. and i thought to myself, i am SO GLAD those days are over. but if i had to do it all over again, would i? probably. because of our long distance relationship, i cherish each day of married life so much more. when i listened to those voicemail messages, i just wanted to sit next to matthew and hug him. to enjoy him and his presence. it feels like as if all your life, you've been staring at a slice of cake not being able to take a bite, and now you're finally able to eat it. so here is my first advice as a married woman, don't give up on staring at that slice of cake just because you can't have it....but know that when you do get the chance, it will be the sweetest thing.

photo by bhullphotography

ay papi, mucho delicioso

here's a meal that i've been loving so much that i decided to write about it. it doesn't look like much but the flavors will have a little fiesta in your mouth. so here goes....

rebecca's plato magnifico y simple para las personas quienes quieren comida que tiene fiestas en sus bocas

1. marinate chicken breast in olive oil, salt, pepper, cilantro, lime juice for 30 minutes

2. cook knorr mexican rice with water and olive oil (normally don't like packaged foods but this rice, i could eat alone for days...okay okay...probably months)

3. chop tomatoes, avocado, pineapple (and/or mango) and toss with little bit of olive oil, lime juice, salt, pepper and MUCHO CILANTRO

4. cook chicken

5. get your macarenas and sombrero, it's time for a pah-tay!

tips for planning a wedding

i know it's been only a little over two weeks since i've been engaged, but matthew and i knew we didn't have a lot of time to plan a wedding, so we started ASAP. And in that narrow window of time we had before things were all too late, we were already able to grab our desired date, venue, and dress (in one weekend!) i'd like to believe we were extremely lucky..especially me, for having such a wonderful guy that is willing to compromise (in my favor) as well as willing to help plan in every step. he's truly great and i am incredibly  lucky :) but none of that gushy stuff now...here are some things that i've learned in the past week and a half of planning:

• be smart and book a sunday night wedding before a monday holiday. 
• as for north jersey, sept-oct is most expensive, then june through august, then april and may, november and december, and lastly january through march. (a valentine's day wedding doesn't seem too cheesy now, huh? :P)
• it seems silly to go into debt to get married...so start eating cereal instead of going out. have some money saved.
• as for dresses, try out different styles. you may think you know what you want but that might not be the best fit. my dress is exactly what i DID NOT want, but i love it.
• if you plan on spending around $800-900 for a day-of coordinator, stop..and look into venues where they provide awesome event consultants who will be doing that for you, free of charge 
• excel spreadsheets on google drive are your friends. let them help you. 

these were some things i've learned so far. pretty sure in just a few weeks/months, this list will be longer and hopefully i can add later on. but that advice was for planning a party essentially. planning to get married is a whole other story. so here are some tips on how to find the man you want to marry...jk.

but honestly, planning to get married is something really only God has a hand in and i'm not saying this to add some Christian context to wedding planning but i am saying it because i witnessed it first-hand. so right before the new year, my small group leader sent us some questions to reflect on including how have i grown in the past year, how has God worked in my life, and what is the theme of what God has taught me. and for me, the past year, and even the year before that, i felt i was wasting time in dc. my family, friends, and matt were all in new jersey/new york. i was doing something i didn't want to make a career out of and for over a year and a half, i was living alone, and was extremely lonely. in the past year, i watched my friends make some drastic changes in their lives while i was working comfortably at a stable job. i would only get to see matt on weekends every so often and didn't feel like our relationship was growing deeper roots but instead casually staying afloat. so after my pessimistic reflection, i concluded that i did not grow that much in character, God hasn't been challenging me, and the theme of my year was the same as the year before...stagnant, comfortable living. it was only after matt proposed that i realized how God had been working in my life...mostly in three ways:

1. my time here in DC was a chance for me to enjoy the last moments of singleness. i think it seems this way even more so because matthew and i were doing long distance. not that i'm saying that i pretended i was single and ready to mingle, but i had a lot of independence socially and even emotionally, in dc. 
2. living alone for a year and a half, i realized, i don't like being alone and that people are meant to be with people. and what better way to solve this situation than by getting married?! 
3. lastly, God prepares you for change in your life. as i watched people around me make moves in their lives, i was stuck in the same place. for a person who normally hates changes, (hence staying in dc and just working) i wanted one just because i felt like i was in such a rut. now that one of the biggest changes of my life is about to happen, i am able to gladly embrace it without hesitation. 

so these are some updates in my life and i will try to jot down some thoughts that i feel are worthwhile. but moving on, there are many many things that i'm looking forward to :)

bits and bobs

• i really like wooden floors/furniture and brick walls
• i love peonies but i hate saying that i love them aloud
• i wrapped my friend's birthday present with Christmas paper...it is may
• i have not been very productive at work this week
• books i want to read

• i am downloading "the vow" as i write this
• i am temporarily cutting dairy out of my life....which means no cheese! and no pizza!!!
• "the vow" just finished downloading...it is not "the vow"
• i really wanna go on a vacation...somewhere..anywhere
• i bought a pair of mint colored skinny jeans and they are fun
• okay goodnight

crazy thought

the power that resurrected Jesus from the grave lives in us through the holy spirit. pretty wild, huh?

what it means to seek God's will

"so i've been thinking about what i should do about next year and i have been thinking about what it means to seek God's will and to depend on him. i've come to realize it is not so much about knowing what is predestined for us (whether we take this job, or go to this school, etc.) but really it is about living out the will he has already given us in the scripture...which is to depend on him and to know he is sovereign...i feel like i am constantly worried about doing what is "right" and being "obedient" to exactly what God wants me to do..but honestly i think God doesn't necessarily care whether i am teaching in qatar or sitting at home doing nothing..i think he cares more about where my heart is" - jean kim

seeds

lately, there has been a stirring in my heart for a calling far greater than washington dc. something for God's kingdom...don't know what it is yet...but i will be 100% in service and i think there are children involved...

silver diner

finally found a diner i like in virginia...and i had the best omlette i've ever had in my entire life....and they have these awesome jukeboxes and an even awesomer waiter with the thickest unibrow.

it's the most wonderful time of the year

despite the 68 degrees weather, christmas lights can make anyone festive. i went to see the zoo lights at the national zoo with tim and jiheon last night and it was fun!! we had funnel cake, got free stuff, and made animal noises like we were 6 years old again. i want to do this every year :) 

dear santa

what girl doesn't like to put together a list of things? whether it be 250 things she looks for in a man, or a playlist for studying, working out, and if you're like me, an "american" playlist so your white friends aren't like wtheck is this when shinee starts playing on my ipod, you like to make lists. so i thought i would--for fun--gather my christmas wish list in a blog. i am not really asking for any of this, it is merely a window-shopping kinda thing except...virtual and public. so in no particular order...

yorkshire mohair scarf from madewell. i've always wanted a red knit scarf. i still want a red knit scarf. my cousin danbi is gonna teach me how to knit in january so i'm gonna try to save myself $60 and make my own. 

hillhouse sweater from madewell. yes, another madewell item. i freakin love this store. it's like the more stylish-younger sister of jcrew. too bad everything costs a kidney. anyways, i loooove these kind of thin, crewneck sweaters. they are perfect for work, fun, comfort, warmth, and layering. the collar detail is something my sister would love and would usually make me gag, but i love them on this sweater! it makes something so plain, very feminine and unique. also, yay for stripes! too bad it's sold out :(

tarte amazonian clay 12 hour blush in exposed. if i could collect one makeup item, it would definitely be blush. i love the look of flushed pink cheeks and this color i've been wanting for months now but haven't been able to convince myself to spend more money on blush. i asked my sister to get it for me, but it was sold out! it is also sold out at my sephora! are there a million other rebecca's out there? who is buying all of these things?!!

williams-sonoma apron in claret. call me old-fashioned but i love aprons. my mom wears an apron every day - these days she wears the one i got made in venice :) but many many years ago, my sister and i got her a williams-sonoma apron in black (to hide the kimchi stains) and she had it for years....these are the sturdiest aprons, also classic. i bet these last longer than the froo froo frilly ones from anthropologie. i'm not saying they aren't cute...they're so freakin cute, but i would probably wear my clothes over the apron to protect it, it's that cute. anyways, this color, not really cherry red, is beautiful...perfect to cover blood stains....jk. i don't cut myself in the kitchen....that much :/

victorinox 8-inch chef's knife. if you've read above, i have some...difficulties in the kitchen. also it is hard to find a good knife that is not dull nor cheap. but i've read reviews (yes i read online reviews on kitchen knives) of this knife. supposedly it is the best out there for "amateur cooks" (that's me!!!). at a decent price of $25 i think, it is brilliant. i cannot find it at any store i've looked at and i am scared to order it online because knowing me, i will cut myself while opening the package. 

musee de the teapot from teavana. isn't this beautiful? i drink tea about twice a day. and i loove absolutely love this glass teapot. i also love the double-wall insulated tea cups. traditional froo froo frilly english teapot and tea cups are cute as well but these are COOL and modern. i want some crumpets with it. 

slatkin & co 3-wick candle in merry mistletoe. virginia gets a lot of power outages. like a lot. and i am a witto scwaedee cat in the dark. (that is until i bought one of those tap lights that i like to put under my shirt and pretend i am iron man) not really...i'm not that scared. it's just that it's hard to use the bathroom or shower with your phone when you only have 25% battery left. so i started looking into candles. i went to bath and body works and sniffed over 50 different scents till i literally got a headache. but out of all the scented candles, this one smelled the best......it tickled my nose and warmed my heart. it smells clean and fresh, without a hint of holiday spice or vanilla cupcake frosting. just the way i like it. only downside, no more iron man :(

a black french beret. i saw a girl wearing one on the metro before and it looked so cute! i tried one on at h&m and i think i looked like the muffin man or a mushroom head--or maybe i thought it was cute...but if i thought it was cute, why didn't i get it? hm...i don't really remember what i thought...OH! it's cause i tried it on in front of a mirror and while i was trying it on, i was self conscious of people watching me who were probably thinking "that girl has a mushroom on her head" or what not and i just put it back. sadness. one day i will try it on again and make my final verdict. as of now, this is still on my wish list because that girl on the metro pulled it off so well! 

hunger games by suzanne collins - i love to read books on my commute. and have actually finished quite a lot just on the metro. and i love books. not a kindle fan over here. whenever i get a bookshelf, i wanna fill it with books, so i look smart and well-cultured to my guests. 

and last but not least.............

A PUPPY!!! oh i would do anything for a puppy. the left is a samoyed pup and the right is a french bulldog pup. sooo cute >.< sometimes, at work, if i'm stressed, i google "cute puppies" (that is how i found out about the samoyed breed) sigh too bad i am at work all day and my apartment doesn't allow pets :( one day, stella and libby you will be mine. (their names) 

first time trying oyster

I tried my first oyster at the company holiday party. can you tell what i thought about it? i hesitated posting this picture cause i think my reaction is really ugly but i still think it's kinda funny. it was briney...

Gotta love the FLOTUS

One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious. When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the president’s secret service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner. Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, “Why was he so interested in talking to you.” She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her. President Obama then said, “So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant,” to which Michelle responded, “No. If I had married him, he would now be the President.”

goal

i want to learn how to knit so i can make scarves for friends and family...and this for my future baby....

we underestimate our propensity to sin and overestimate our ability to resist temptation.

10 years ago

wanting the constant approval of people

“In an ego-centered culture, wants become needs, the self replaces the soul, and human life degenerates into the clamor of competing autobiographies." Cornelius Plantinga

this quote strikes me so much because i feel like in our society--in my generation--we're always trying to one-up somebody. you had to be busier than all of your busy friends...whatever you did for the holidays or the weekend has to be cool and unique. and what would be so great about all the labels and brand named items if no one cared to notice?

when i go on facebook...i see this magnified. sometimes i see it in statuses, wall posts, pictures, etc. i am probably guilty as well in both sides where i might subtly asked to be recognized or i might praise somebody for what they decided to showcase. facebook is a constant need for approval. and i see this even more so with some of the cmu people ever since the "like" function came to be. it blows trivial things to disproportionate significance. you had to be the first one to mention that you saw that cool movie at midnight. you have to show who you're drinking with on a saturday night. you have to show what expensive gift your boyfriend got you for your 4 month anniversary. i am not targeting any one person but i am just tired of thinking "oh i wasn't part of that, why wasn't i?" or "i can never look like that". facebook, i guess could edify and spiritually encourage people in certain cases, but for the most part, there's not much glory going to God through facebook. and i am contemplating deactivating my facebook again..

i am one of the biggest people-pleasers--a euphemism for a pushover. i rarely state my opinion and simply agree with what somebody else has to say. therefore, i find myself struggling with finding out why i care so much about pleasing people. am i doing this to follow the example of Christ? or do i have some unrighteous motivation to appear righteous? how do i get to the root of this? i guess i haven't figured out who i am yet since i have no idea why i do what i do. ha! oh this is silly. it is cause i have ADD and can never sit down and just meditate and think about things, like i used to.

my mind is all flustered and i have so much to say but again my ADD has hindered me from being an efficient writer. POINT IS: if the desire to be accepted by people is greater than the desire to please God, it is sinful. don't let what other people think control what you can do for the kingdom. Jesus said "my God my God, why have you forsaken me"....Jesus, the son of God, embodied all our sins on the cross and endured the disapproval of God so that we could have the eternal approval of God we don't deserve.

Date a Girl Who Loves Jesus

By Ashley MacKenzie

(A response to “Date a Girl Who Reads” and other parodies.)

Date a girl who loves Jesus. Date a girl who would rather stay at home reading Scripture on a Friday night than be out partying with a group of friends. She has issues with space because her shelves are overflowing with the works of Lewis, Edwards, Spurgeon, Piper and more. Date a girl who spends her money on others instead of clothes and other frivolous things.  

Find a girl who’s passionate about the Gospel. You’ll know that she is because she will always have her Bible in her bag and she’s always read to help others. She’s the one lovingly giving up her spare time to spend it with those in need, the one who lets out a silent but compassion-filled cry for the state of the world and all of His people.You see that girl sitting and talking by herself, looking sort of out-of-place, and admiring her surroundings? That’s her. She can’t resist taking time out of her day to talk to God and thank Him for His blessings.

And boy, is she ever thankful.

She’s the one who’s got that look on her face when she’s in worship, that look that shows you can tell where her focus is in that moment. Eyes closed and hands raised, or perhaps she is sitting in stillness and silence. Either way, you can see a light in her that isn’t like anything you’ve ever seen. She’s the one who isn’t afraid to fall to her knees or dance in the joy of the LORD.

She’s in it, she’s in love with Love Himself.

This girl has some serious self-respect; she doesn’t parade around announcing her flaws in hopes of reassurance or compliments. She knows that she was created in His image and no matter what society says; she is beautiful. She doesn’t need anyone to remind her. She knows how intricately created she is, placing her self-worth in Christ and Christ alone.

A girl who loves the LORD isn’t going to be caught up in pointless things. She doesn’t flip through the channels of the TV searching for the latest soap opera. She doesn’t mindlessly watch trashy movies, lusting over the lead actor. She isn’t flipping through the pages of a unrealistic romance novel, hoping and wishing that it comes to life. She’s studying and learning. She’s thinking and engaging with the world around her. She’s reading His Word and applying it to her life and how she interacts with others. This girl isn’t wasting her God-given gifts on the world and it’s pleasures, she’s using them toward the advancement of His Kingdom, all for the Glory of the LORD.

If you end up dating her, consider yourself blessed because you know God gave her to you. The LORD has selected her especially for you and prepared the both of you for each other. She’s not the kind of girl who pines for the next guy to come into her life. No, she is patient. She waits upon the LORD and His timing. She does not complain or become anxious, for she knows that Christ is her focus above all things

Pray for her. Pray with her.

This is one of the greatest gifts you can offer her. Read the Bible with her. Tell her about the things God is doing in your life. She cares, and she loves to hear them. Teach her with the wisdom of Solomon, lead her like Moses with a faith like Abraham. She will search you to see if you have David’s heart for God. But most of all, you must love her with the Love of Christ Himself because a girl who loves Jesus is very special. She is bold like Esther, hospitable like Lydia, submissive like Mary and she consistently thrives to align her life with the very words found in Proverbs 31. Scripture is her daily bread, and she grows off of God’s consistent grace and compassion.

Date a girl who loves Jesus more than she will ever love you. Date a girl who acknowledges her God-given mission in life and the priority it has over all things. Know that God has placed you by her side for a reason; you’re in this together and God has plans for the both of you. You’re in good hands as long as you stay within the center of God’s will. This girl will keep you on the Holy path, and trusts you will be honest with you when you are struggling…because she always will. Date a girl who loves Jesus because He loves you, and He just wants the best for you.

Or better yet, marry a girl who loves Jesus.

*note to self*

REBECCA, READ THIS WHEN YOU ARE SUFFERING

james is one of my favorite books of the bible because it is so dense and meaty. it's one of those books where you want to underline everything! anyways, we are going through the book of james at frontline and i am so excited to study it word by word. today's passage focuses on james 1:1-4, finding joy in suffering.

one character who exemplifies real faith is job. despite his tribulations "job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and WORSHIPED. he said "naked i came from my mother's womb, and naked i shall return there. the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord" (job 1:20-21). we have to understand the nature of God in order to comprehend how to have joy despite hardships.

i will always remember this saying "faith that is easy is faith that is fading". faith does not grow during easy days. and with that, i want to remember romans 5:3-5 always: "and not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us" YES! PTL! Rebecca, if you are reading this because you are suffering something and you are not praising the Lord by now, go wash your face with some dirt.

if you are still not convinced that you will get over this, read on...

one of the MAJOR ways how we christians live our lives different from the world's is in the way we respond to trials in our lives. our culture tries to numb or drown out pain and reality through mediums such as drinking, shopping, falling into addictions, our computer screens...but as followers of jesus christ, we find joy and endurance to season faith in Him. Jesus is calling our name.

and i hope to end with this prayer:

"hear my cry, O God; give heed to my prayer. from the end of the earth i call to You when my heart is faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than i. for You have been a refuge for me, a tower of strength against the enemy. let me dwell in Your tent forever; let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings" psalm 61:1-4