i know it's been only a little over two weeks since i've been engaged, but matthew and i knew we didn't have a lot of time to plan a wedding, so we started ASAP. And in that narrow window of time we had before things were all too late, we were already able to grab our desired date, venue, and dress (in one weekend!) i'd like to believe we were extremely lucky..especially me, for having such a wonderful guy that is willing to compromise (in my favor) as well as willing to help plan in every step. he's truly great and i am incredibly lucky :) but none of that gushy stuff now...here are some things that i've learned in the past week and a half of planning:
- be smart and book a sunday night wedding before a monday holiday.
- as for north jersey, sept-oct is most expensive, then june through august, then april and may, november and december, and lastly january through march. (a valentine's day wedding doesn't seem too cheesy now, huh? :P)
- it seems silly to go into debt to get married...so start eating cereal instead of going out. have some money saved.
- as for dresses, try out different styles. you may think you know what you want but that might not be the best fit. my dress is exactly what i DID NOT want, but i love it.
- if you plan on spending around $800-900 for a day-of coordinator, stop..and look into venues where they provide awesome event consultants who will be doing that for you, free of charge
- excel spreadsheets on google drive are your friends. let them help you.
these were some things i've learned so far. pretty sure in just a few weeks/months, this list will be longer and hopefully i can add later on. but that advice was for planning a party essentially. planning to get married is a whole other story. so here are some tips on how to find the man you want to marry...jk.
but honestly, planning to get married is something really only God has a hand in and i'm not saying this to add some Christian context to wedding planning but i am saying it because i witnessed it first-hand. so right before the new year, my small group leader sent us some questions to reflect on including how have i grown in the past year, how has God worked in my life, and what is the theme of what God has taught me. and for me, the past year, and even the year before that, i felt i was wasting time in dc. my family, friends, and matt were all in new jersey/new york. i was doing something i didn't want to make a career out of and for over a year and a half, i was living alone, and was extremely lonely. in the past year, i watched my friends make some drastic changes in their lives while i was working comfortably at a stable job. i would only get to see matt on weekends every so often and didn't feel like our relationship was growing deeper roots but instead casually staying afloat. so after my pessimistic reflection, i concluded that i did not grow that much in character, God hasn't been challenging me, and the theme of my year was the same as the year before...stagnant, comfortable living. it was only after matt proposed that i realized how God had been working in my life...mostly in three ways:
- my time here in DC was a chance for me to enjoy the last moments of singleness. i think it seems this way even more so because matthew and i were doing long distance. not that i'm saying that i pretended i was single and ready to mingle, but i had a lot of independence socially and even emotionally, in dc.
- living alone for a year and a half, i realized, i don't like being alone and that people are meant to be with people. and what better way to solve this situation than by getting married?!
- lastly, God prepares you for change in your life. as i watched people around me make moves in their lives, i was stuck in the same place. for a person who normally hates changes, (hence staying in dc and just working) i wanted one just because i felt like i was in such a rut. now that one of the biggest changes of my life is about to happen, i am able to gladly embrace it without hesitation.
