AMAZING

one of my favorite passages

4 Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! 5 Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4

a good night

milk and cookies + the bible + reading about God's love for me :)

tonight, michelle and i went to mclean bible frontline arlington service and i think i can confidently say that we were both truly blessed. the worship is just like one at a conference. and the message was about the creation of the church and its purpose. i've been having trouble settling down at open door church, i guess because i was incredibly blessed with an amazing family at kupc. but today, i am once again reminded of how its not about my comfort but God's will for me. one thing that particularly stuck out for me was a nigerian proverb that stresses the importance of fellowship..."if you want to go faster, go alone. but if you want to go further, go together." i really like that.

head over heels

more and more i am trying to listen to God. i think reading the bible daily makes it easier..but anyways, today in service, we took time to listen to the Lord and see what he had to say. i was forcing myself to think about my current struggles so that God could shine some light and give me answers. but that's kinda like putting words in God's mouth. so i just stood still and he said (not the first time) "i just want to spend time with you". he wanted intimacy with me, my time, not my offering, or my services, but just time to get to know me.

i think i really get why christianity is a relational religion. besides having to have a spiritual community of brothers and sisters, and helping/serving others, i learn so much about God through people. i can understand more of his love for me through unconditional and selfless love from my parents, i understand the importance of shepherding(word?) by leading and by being led, i can grasp grace through forgiveness of others and of myself, and just so much more. but what's new to me is comparing my relationship with matthew with my relationship with God. 

i've never been in love--the romantic kind before. but i can see how God wants puppy love from me too. silly, huh? in a relationship, (at least for me) you want to be next to the person all the time, sometimes holding hands the entire time, even though it's sweaty and inconvenient to use just one hand, you just never want to let go. the most menial things...like tonight, matt and i skyped while eating dinner. we didn't really talk or anything but it just felt like i was there and he was here, and we were eating dinner together. you just pine for that closeness. and in any dating relationship, you just want to get to know more and more about each other. like if there was a book, about 750 pages long, about the life of matthew, i would want to read it. ........ do i sound like some crazy girlfriend??? but seriously, i would want to read that book. but what about God? and his book? do i eagerly want to read his book to get know him more? do i want to be next to God, talking with him, eating dinner with him, just chilling with him, in his presence? i ask myself that more since i've been dating. and God told me what he wants from me. 

he wants my time. he wants my puppy love. 

now i am not comparing matthew with God, oh no way. i am simply learning more about my priorities, my time, my thoughts, my heart. i really want to want to be with God 24/7. that's my prayer :) 

the influence

no matter how many times i read this passage, i feel like i need to constantly remind myself of what it means to be a godly woman:

"wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. for this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful" 1 peter 3:1-5

God has given women a position of influence, encouragement, and counsel. however, many of us try to influence through nagging, whining, manipulating, rather than through the purity and reverence in our attitude that is built upon trust in God's ability to change people. sometimes, i'll get discouraged because i don't see a transformation, but maybe i'm not asking God or simply not having faith. i hope i can realize that i don't have the power to do this and that all i do is seek a "gentle and quiet spirit". 

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and aside from all this, i can't possibly not write about what is going on in japan. every morning, when i go to work, i read the newspaper on the metro. and the headlines for several weeks in february was about egypt, then it was about libya, and now it's japan. and my heart breaks for the nation. it's hard to ignore the fact that God orchestrated the earthquake and the tsunami. i heard somewhere that things like this happen because it is God's way of using a megaphone to speak to a deaf world. but what has happened made me think about the song "praise you in the storm". even though it is an utter tragedy what happened, i want to be convicted that God is a god who gives, and takes away. and that He has been trying to "whisper through the rain, 'I'm with you'" but we haven't been listening. my thoughts and prayers still go out to those afflicted in japan but i pray that i will stay praise God. 

hello

this is my first blog post! i feel bad to be leaving my faithful xanga behind. it has been so good to me...but i figured it was time to become "current". i miss the days where the number of eprops meant how cool you were. i also figured since my facebook is deactivated for about 5 months now, i need some connection to the outside world and friends can check in here to see how i am doing. 

i want this blog to be more intimate than usual and i want to write honestly. i have a lot of thoughts that never really get immortalized. i have journals and diaries but i usually get too lazy to write with pen. so to spare losing my (precious) thoughts, i shall write here. i want to write about things i care about and treasure. my faith, little bits of wisdom i pick up from here and there, my struggles, my relationships, my blessings, inspirations and such.

the title "more than ashes" is the name of a song by tim reimherr that captures all that i want this blog to be about.  to Jesus, we are the rose, we are the lily, we are His, we are His beauty. i want to keep this in mind when i write. i'm all about finding love and beauty in Christ. kinda sounds jesus-freak hippie-ish but that is what i love. and the background is a picture of a pretty peony. just because it is my favorite flower :) 

okay i will leave now. say nighty night to my new blog. (i hope i can still somehow measure my coolness without eprops)