a few photos from our honeymoon

thoughts on married life so far

we've been married for almost a month now and i thought i would jot down a few thoughts on my newlywed life so i can look back one day and remember this time of my life. being married is....in one simple word...awesome. i love it. matt says it feels like an extension of dating life but i disagree. it's nothing like dating. when we first started dating, we fell in love quick and we fell hard. even though my thoughts back then are blurred in my memory, the rush of emotions i felt are deeply imprinted, so much so that when i close my eyes and think about those days, i can't help but feel the butterflies all over again. however, as hopelessly as we were in love many years ago, now, we are hopelessly in love even more...and it's possible.

during marriage all the boundaries that were placed during dating are shattered. physical boundaries. emotional boundaries. and personal boundaries. i don't know if people go through this struggle during dating like i have but i was afraid of being too vulnerable because who knows, that person might hurt you real bad and you don't know if you can handle it anymore. but when you're married, the future is clear, and you're together...forever. that surety allows us to laugh more, be more affectionate, and even more forgiving.

just the other day i was erasing my voicemail inbox and some of the messages carried over from my old phone and there were tons from matt and most of them went like this "hey, it's me. i just got off work now and i'm going to the gym. you're probably still at work or eating with friends, but call me when you get this. bye"...i swear i had about a dozen or so of these kinds of messages. and i thought to myself, i am SO GLAD those days are over. but if i had to do it all over again, would i? probably. because of our long distance relationship, i cherish each day of married life so much more. when i listened to those voicemail messages, i just wanted to sit next to matthew and hug him. to enjoy him and his presence. it feels like as if all your life, you've been staring at a slice of cake not being able to take a bite, and now you're finally able to eat it. so here is my first advice as a married woman, don't give up on staring at that slice of cake just because you can't have it....but know that when you do get the chance, it will be the sweetest thing.

photo by bhullphotography

ay papi, mucho delicioso

here's a meal that i've been loving so much that i decided to write about it. it doesn't look like much but the flavors will have a little fiesta in your mouth. so here goes....

rebecca's plato magnifico y simple para las personas quienes quieren comida que tiene fiestas en sus bocas

1. marinate chicken breast in olive oil, salt, pepper, cilantro, lime juice for 30 minutes

2. cook knorr mexican rice with water and olive oil (normally don't like packaged foods but this rice, i could eat alone for days...okay okay...probably months)

3. chop tomatoes, avocado, pineapple (and/or mango) and toss with little bit of olive oil, lime juice, salt, pepper and MUCHO CILANTRO

4. cook chicken

5. get your macarenas and sombrero, it's time for a pah-tay!

tips for planning a wedding

i know it's been only a little over two weeks since i've been engaged, but matthew and i knew we didn't have a lot of time to plan a wedding, so we started ASAP. And in that narrow window of time we had before things were all too late, we were already able to grab our desired date, venue, and dress (in one weekend!) i'd like to believe we were extremely lucky..especially me, for having such a wonderful guy that is willing to compromise (in my favor) as well as willing to help plan in every step. he's truly great and i am incredibly  lucky :) but none of that gushy stuff now...here are some things that i've learned in the past week and a half of planning:

• be smart and book a sunday night wedding before a monday holiday. 
• as for north jersey, sept-oct is most expensive, then june through august, then april and may, november and december, and lastly january through march. (a valentine's day wedding doesn't seem too cheesy now, huh? :P)
• it seems silly to go into debt to get married...so start eating cereal instead of going out. have some money saved.
• as for dresses, try out different styles. you may think you know what you want but that might not be the best fit. my dress is exactly what i DID NOT want, but i love it.
• if you plan on spending around $800-900 for a day-of coordinator, stop..and look into venues where they provide awesome event consultants who will be doing that for you, free of charge 
• excel spreadsheets on google drive are your friends. let them help you. 

these were some things i've learned so far. pretty sure in just a few weeks/months, this list will be longer and hopefully i can add later on. but that advice was for planning a party essentially. planning to get married is a whole other story. so here are some tips on how to find the man you want to marry...jk.

but honestly, planning to get married is something really only God has a hand in and i'm not saying this to add some Christian context to wedding planning but i am saying it because i witnessed it first-hand. so right before the new year, my small group leader sent us some questions to reflect on including how have i grown in the past year, how has God worked in my life, and what is the theme of what God has taught me. and for me, the past year, and even the year before that, i felt i was wasting time in dc. my family, friends, and matt were all in new jersey/new york. i was doing something i didn't want to make a career out of and for over a year and a half, i was living alone, and was extremely lonely. in the past year, i watched my friends make some drastic changes in their lives while i was working comfortably at a stable job. i would only get to see matt on weekends every so often and didn't feel like our relationship was growing deeper roots but instead casually staying afloat. so after my pessimistic reflection, i concluded that i did not grow that much in character, God hasn't been challenging me, and the theme of my year was the same as the year before...stagnant, comfortable living. it was only after matt proposed that i realized how God had been working in my life...mostly in three ways:

1. my time here in DC was a chance for me to enjoy the last moments of singleness. i think it seems this way even more so because matthew and i were doing long distance. not that i'm saying that i pretended i was single and ready to mingle, but i had a lot of independence socially and even emotionally, in dc. 
2. living alone for a year and a half, i realized, i don't like being alone and that people are meant to be with people. and what better way to solve this situation than by getting married?! 
3. lastly, God prepares you for change in your life. as i watched people around me make moves in their lives, i was stuck in the same place. for a person who normally hates changes, (hence staying in dc and just working) i wanted one just because i felt like i was in such a rut. now that one of the biggest changes of my life is about to happen, i am able to gladly embrace it without hesitation. 

so these are some updates in my life and i will try to jot down some thoughts that i feel are worthwhile. but moving on, there are many many things that i'm looking forward to :)

bits and bobs

• i really like wooden floors/furniture and brick walls
• i love peonies but i hate saying that i love them aloud
• i wrapped my friend's birthday present with Christmas paper...it is may
• i have not been very productive at work this week
• books i want to read

• i am downloading "the vow" as i write this
• i am temporarily cutting dairy out of my life....which means no cheese! and no pizza!!!
• "the vow" just finished downloading...it is not "the vow"
• i really wanna go on a vacation...somewhere..anywhere
• i bought a pair of mint colored skinny jeans and they are fun
• okay goodnight

crazy thought

the power that resurrected Jesus from the grave lives in us through the holy spirit. pretty wild, huh?

what it means to seek God's will

"so i've been thinking about what i should do about next year and i have been thinking about what it means to seek God's will and to depend on him. i've come to realize it is not so much about knowing what is predestined for us (whether we take this job, or go to this school, etc.) but really it is about living out the will he has already given us in the scripture...which is to depend on him and to know he is sovereign...i feel like i am constantly worried about doing what is "right" and being "obedient" to exactly what God wants me to do..but honestly i think God doesn't necessarily care whether i am teaching in qatar or sitting at home doing nothing..i think he cares more about where my heart is" - jean kim